In and around the middle Ages there was a profession: a bell ringer.
In every village there was a bell ringer and he would wake them up in the morning, and when the lights are being turned off, or when a baby is born.
In a certain village all the bell ringers, after a while, died from various illnesses.
After it happened many times on one wanted to take upon themselves the job.
And then, one day, a bold and very hungry, young man arrived, and he decided that he will do the job. He went to the Wiseman of the village, and asked him: what could be done so he will survive? And the Wiseman that said: “before you ring in the morning, curse all the members of the village”. And young man said, in wonderment: “why would I do such a thing”?
And then the Wiseman said: “do it and you will see that will survive. And not just cursing, but the most terrible curses in the world”.
And the young man did as he was told, and then not only that he remained healthy, his face was shining. And people of the village did not understand what was happening.
Then a year and a half passed, and remained in the job.
And then, one day he returned to the Wiseman and ask him to explain what has happened to him. And the Wiseman answered: “let me tell you something; “come and I will tell you something, look. When the village people wake up in the morning and hear the bell ring – what do you think they do”? He answered by saying that he doesn’t know. To which the Wiseman said: ‘they curse, who they are cursing? Where do the curses go? The answer is: to you. You cased them to get out of their sweet sleep, and now, those curses reach you and they destroy you. You fall under this curses. So you need to curse them back, more powerfully than the power of their collective curses, and this in order to block their curses”.
I someone would dare to make you feel guilty and this will bring you to check yourself (to turn against yourself – you need to be able to cause him to check himself twice as much of the power directed towards you to check yourself (through self-doubt).
And if your ‘curses’ equal the curse towards you, then you are safe – you will not fall into your next crisis.
I call it: to move the battle to the yard of the other. Someone can come to you and say that you did that and that, you are not ok, and he is trying to plant self-doubt in you. But you need to move the arena to you to him, to him to find the slit through which he will be forced to check himself.
But not in every case you should return back to him his curses, the best is – simply to avoid and side step the accusation (because if you talk about the accusation, there is a chance that his words would find the slit or crack, through which it can enter in.
An area in which the ‘curse’ (the accusation), is being rejected by a person from the other sex; the initial reactions to take the blame and to feel that this is your fault for being rejected. While implementing the Wiseman’s advice would be the equal it by saying: “this is her lose”.
The earlier you have identified that you are being blamed – so you could block it better, the moment it enters in, it is usually too late.
And the moment it enters in – not to feed it, not to give it power.
As soon as the attack is blocked – not to think of it but to remember your true self and from there to get strength.
One needs to be strong in order not to accept the stigma; instead of: “I am not ok”, “you are not ok”.
As for ‘checking oneself; there is a real self-check and a false one. The fake one is not a real self-check for the sake of improvement, but in fact it is finding out what is wrong with you, so you can judge yourself. False self-check is only when one is accusing you. A real self-check is only done when you are clear, cool and balanced emotionally.
As far as other people are concerned, we do not live in a world of justice but in a world of power struggle. Which could burst out any minute, mainly at most unaccepted moments.
A relevant article to this article is in the following link: