The hard fate of the highly sensitive persons – part 3

In the 2 previous chapters in this serial, it was written about the great power of society’s norms and conventions to effect the life of everyone, but especially the life of the gentle and fine (those who are also considered as: highly sensitive persons) –  just because they are gentle and fine (and therefor – different).
Support to this we find in the writings of the famous sociologist: Emile Durkheim – He claimed that the study of man and his behavior, needs to avoid the approach that takes into account only elements which stem from his personality structure and genetics. According to his claim, the study of man and the attempt to explain his life and behavior, needs to take into account the society’s influence upon him.
Durkheim said that the behavior of man could be explained less by elements that are on his biological and psychological level and more by the sociological level. One of the explanations he gives to this is that the behavior of man remained the same during the years, while at same time specific human beings (with very specific biological and psychological characteristics) die and being replaced by other individuals, and what does not change is the great power of the social structure, public opinion and social norms –we remained with this great influence upon human beings as human beings. It is true that the social structure and the norms themselves can changes but not their incredible influence about the life of the individual. “They have a correcting power, they impose themselves upon him, and thus they bypass his willpower”.
On everyone there are very powerful social limitations and demands, but they remain hidden and they come to the surface only when the social demands are violated in one way or another. And then sanctions are being put upon the individual and in this way social priorities are being channeled towards him. According to his claim this demands come in the name of very solid social facts, even if they are not evident in an outward clear way. This facts are defined as he said, as: “every way of action, fixed or not, that has the ability to impose upon the individual external limitations”.
Durkheim understood that more than individuals are designing the nature of society in which they want to live, it is the society which is designing their individual life.
He saw society as an entity that has got existence and power of its own. Beyond the privet life of every individual. It is a kind of eternal entity that continued to exist even after the death of the individuals whose life she is designing.
Durkheim believed that even the motive of religious life is not of necessity the individual affinity between the individual as individual and God, but the affinity between the individual and society.
It is interesting to ponder on how is it that society manages to influence in such a way? There is nothing external, (no one is putting anyone in prison), and yet it is so effective, how does it work? How does the social machinery works? How does it drafts people to her and ‘kicks out’ those who do not confirm? What is the mechanism with which it operates?
Well the answer is intriguing; one of the ancient ways to control the behavior and consciousness state of people is through rhythm. Tribes would put dancers into very powerful stats of mind by movement according to a certain rhythm for hours, it is being said that the heart rhythm of the mother calms the baby in the womb. Researches show that even the heart rhythm of a loving couple is being synchronized and becomes identical… if we look at a loving couple we can notice clearly that they move in synchronization to the same rhythm, the rhythm of traffic in the roads increases the blood pressure. Rhythm affects us unconsciously straight into the brainstem. Rhythms also influence the speed of the flow of blood and on the emotional and mind state. If we did not meet a friend for a long time then usualy we don’t get along, when videoing them it could be noticed that they are not moving in harmony, their rhythms create a dissonance.
And now back to the gentle and fine; well, beyond what is written before – the main reason for their difficult life is that they dance to a rhythm of a different drum… while, at the same time the majority is dancing to the rhythms of the social norm (or at least they do not have any problem in adjusting themselves to that rhythm). And there is a dissonance between the two rhythms, (you cannot dance according to both rhythms). The majority adjusts, whereas for the highly sensitive it is very difficult; they hear (subconsciously) the social rhythm again and again but it is not being absorbed, (their feet is moving to a very different rhythm). And both of those rhythms clash, and this disturbs the movement of both, it is especially put out of rhythm the gentle in the mind; they behave like a bull in a china shop; they drop things, bump into people, get lost, do not find an address, (for they are mistaken in applying the instructions of how to get to the destination), in short, they don’t get along. And this is showing itself in the general goings on of their relationships, their work place and generally in their life.
And they don’t understand; what do they do wrong? Well they are out of sync.
The social rhythm of social life is graceless, it is mechanical, cold, monotones and flat. The rhythm is short and fast, it is the rhythm of organization, of a machine. Whereas the rhythm of the gentle and the fine is soft, deep, slow and long, the wavelength here is long and slow, the distance between the top pf the wave and its bottom is not large, everything happens in moderation, gradually.
And they can live a whole life of crises and downfalls, not knowing that this is because they are special, that inside them there is a huge magnet that is disrupting the social rhythms and signals – that creates a kind of a magnetic field of its own (in which they move differently)..
And what is it like? It is like the flight of an airplane that has a very powerful magnet in it, which is disruptive to the signals sent to the pilot from the instruments of the airplane, the pilot is convinced that he is flying towards his destination, but instead he finds himself far away from it.
So far about the problem, but what could be done?
It is the view of the writer of this words that the gentle in the mind should be completely faithful to their original rhythm. They could not and should not dance according to both rhythms, for this will make their life to be a torture.
It is being said that: one could not serve two masters, they need to make a choice, and as they cannot depart from the rhythm of their inner life – they should make the choice which is true to their nature, to be true to who you really are. Of course, giving up the rhymes of the norms of society has a heavy price tag to it, but in return they will find at last their true home and belonging in which they can find at last peace.
But with it this will not be really possible without fulfilling another option; like a delicate plant or flower that needs the protected ecology of the green house, so is the case with the highly sensitive, they need to find an ecology of a group with people of his kind,

By no means will it be easy to find or create such a group, but for them it is vital.
This kind of a group could be called ‘ring of strength’ and it is combined by man and woman unified around the soul’s axis – and is motivated by soul principles, the soul is their governing queen.
And why this group is called ‘the ring of strength’? Because the power of a really united group will be much stronger then the power or strength which each individual can manufacture by himself. (So that each individual will come from the group stronger then what he can draft from himself).
This (quiet rare and idealistic) group have no games or masks, they are authentic, motivated by the soul and moving to its rhythm. And because of that they are synchronized with the rhythm of the members of the rest of the group, and if one goes out of rhythm – the rhythm of the rest will synchronize him back.
They are comrades in the effort to fight against social sleep and for the awakening of the soul.
They are not doing too much ‘noise’ in order not to attract social attention, they need humbleness, if not secretiveness, too much exposure could harm their delicate fabric.
They need to take the advice of Mao Zedong:  “Be shy as virgins and quick as rabbits”.
The group should conceal (at least in the beginning) its goals, not to talk (at least not in the beginning) about it, such as changing the state of consciousness or waking from sleep, and most definitely not about the fact that -people, generally live in a sleep state.
They know that when they talk about their goals – it should be easy to digest by the general mode of thinking.
In other words, to be like the ancient alchemists, that under the guise of turning metal into gold – they concealed their true goal which was metamorphosis of consciousness.
They know they should not challenge the normal way of life, for it will not be allowed, it will create objection.
What is accepted and is flourishing are popular spiritual groups which do not challenge the existing norms.

And two more things:

One: this kind of a group needs a central figure, a leader or at least a member that is more advanced, until the group can live their principles.
Two: this kind of a group is actually a utopia, for on the way to become such an idealistic group, they will experience numerous difficulties and mines, the chief ones are: power struggles, taking things personally, identifying with their personal ups and downs, comparing themselves to others, completion and much more.
With it, the longing for such a ‘green house’ must never cease.

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