The False Fascination of Being Normal

תמונה יכולה לכלול: ‏‏אדם אחד או יותר‏‏
Definition of normality: Normality (behavior), the property of conforming to a norm.
A deep and unseen line is dividing between ‘Normality’ and the ‘non-normality’.
The line could pass in families, classes, rooms in work places, between two friends, and so on.
But it passes also in the ‘non-normal’ themselves; they are undecided, not complete with their ‘non-normality’. The ‘normals’ are 100% complete with their normality.
Most of the ‘non-normal’ would willingly switch places with the ‘normals’. Whereas the ‘normals would not switch places in any circumstance. ‘Normality’ is complete with itself. Satisfied, pleased, as saying: “all is ok, the way it was supposed to be and we are in the right place”.
As for the identity of the ‘normals’, well, there is no problem; they are simply the majority, the dissent and average citizens, as is being described in a song sang by Pete Seeger and written by Malvina Reynolds:
“Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,1
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There’s a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All went to the university,
Where they were put in boxes
And they came out all the same,
And there’s doctors and lawyers,
And business executives,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf course
And drink their martinis dry,
And they all have pretty children
And the children go to school,
And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
Where they are put in boxes
And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business
And marry and raise a family
In boxes made of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.
There’s a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they’re all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same”.

Malvina Reynolds songbook(s) in which the music to this song appears:
—- Little Boxes and Other Handmade Songs
—- The Malvina Reynolds Songbook
—- There’s Music in the Air: Songs for the Middle-Young.
And what about the identity of the ‘non-normals’? Who are they exactly? Well they could be called by various names: dragged, outsiders, crazy, mentally ill, anxious, not integrating, depressed, pessimistic, rebels, and more.
But in addition to their dark side there is also a light side: dreamers, highly sensitive, visionaries, artists, poets, outstanding, original, subversive writers, authentic, see themselves as carrying a mission, spiritual, religious and more.
A song that illustrates the mood of the ‘non-normal is: Mad world:
Mad World
Gary JulesMichael Andrews
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it’s a very very
Mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day, they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher,…
The belonging to one of those camps is not something that could be influenced during one’s life, the majority of the inhabitance of this two camps – are born with it engraved in them.
Advanced people from the ‘normal’ camp are nourished in themselves by creative artists that the majority of them is in the ‘non-normal’ camp. Most of the creative artists are taking a hold on their creation just not to be drifted in the powerful stream of the ‘normalities’.
The ‘normals’ are living when around them there is social net, supporting and active (going together abroad, they are together in family gathering and the like). This supporting social net is reassuring them in every meeting, how much they are all right; they say, more or less, similar things, acting as a mouth to the same or similar world view (this acts as anti-anxiety remedy, for they believe that many people could not go wrong together). One typical example is the attitude towards the grandchildren; it is the same record in everyone: it is almost a euphoria from the visit of the grandchildren, or even looking at their pictures. (And it seems that the ‘non-normals’ are less excited about the grandchildren).
The ‘non-normals’ are quiet lonely, or that they have one or two friends, lonely and ‘non-normal’ as them.
But here they have a problem; there are no two ‘non-normal’ individuals with the same, or similar, psychological structure, everyone, in its essence, is an original copy.
The main feature in the ‘normals’ is their social mask or thier role in society, and in the non-‘normals their chief feature is their soul, and there are no two identical souls. And that means that they can experience loneliness even with their close friends.
Usually, what is living in them could be put in their creation or writings, rather than with close friends.
And now about ‘being ok’; the ‘normals’ are ok, they are always ok, and everything in them is ok. They hardly suffer from personal problems, and also from illnesses and accidents.
The ‘non-normals’ are not ok, and they are ‘not ok’ almost everywhere; at work, in marriage, as children, and also within themselves they are ‘not ok’: they are full of guilt feelings, remorse, regret and suffering. They forget to view themselves from the high aspect, their creative or spiritual – side. But most of the time they look at themselves through the eyes of the silent majority, therefore they don’t live in peace with themselves.
Yes, a deep and unseen line separates between them.
The ‘non-normal’ are always divided in themselves, while the ‘normals’ are at peace with their normality and nothing will convince them that there is something flat, leaner, average and meaningless in their life. And also there is something quiet wrong in them: every once in a while countries send young ‘normal’ citizens to war with other young ‘normal’ people from another country. They experience terrible things and do terrible things and what is a wonder, is that after the war they go back to their flat and conventional life as though nothing has happened. (except those who experience a post trauma).
One of the more meaningful books about that is a book by Erich Maria remark: “Nothing new in the west”; the book opens in a scene in which 150 soldieries are going to battle, and only 80 of them come back, an hour later, they stand in a que for food in the dining room, and the only thing they care about is that each one of them will receive a double dose of food and Tabaco, because the cook prepared 150 portions…
Another example about rehabilitation ability of the ‘normals’ after tribble crisiss – is the divorce; some couples behave in a terrible way towards the partner (that only some time ago was the loved one) but the aggressive and ugly divorce will not disturbed their peaceful ‘normality’, for (if they are young enough) they will find another partner and build another, ‘normal’ marriage.
And so, nothing will disturb the ‘normality’s peacefulness, not war, not ugly divorce, and even if they are caught in a fraud or sexual harassment, they will deny everything and after the punishment, will go back to being normal as though nothing has happened. There are hardly any cases of a normal person that was caught and punished and he suffers from guilty conscious and cannot rehabilitate his life because he cannot overcome what he did.
And this is what is curious about them; this ‘flexibility’, to come back to normality after such wild periods, as though nothing has happened (or that would say that all of what is said about them is a bunch of lies), they leave the guilt feelings and the guilty conscious to the ‘non-normals’…
Their behavior is never a problem for them, the important thing for them is the social game, the social roles and the social mask; they can cheat, mislead, be petty about money, but what is most important for them is that their mask and role will remain complete and without a scratch. Everything is ok.
They leave the ‘not ok’ to be the scapegoats, so that they would feel guilty, for they act for the ‘normals’ as a draining pipe.
Here a question could come: is there a rule by which one can tell who is ‘normal’ and who isn’t? Well, the life of the ‘normals’ are organized as it was supposed to be, whereas in the ‘non-normal’ – there is chaos.
Generally, life smiles for the ‘normals’ and not to the ‘non-normal’.
For all of those reasons, and others, the ‘non-normal’ mostly try to choose to be normal. But thier redemption would come if he would understand and accept that this is his destiny and be proud about it because he belongs to the few who are protectors of the soul, he needs to choose it with all of his might, otherwise he would miss his own life.
“What we call ‘normal’ is a product of repression, denial, splitting, projection, introjection and other forms of destructive action on experience. It is radically estranged from the structure of being. The more one sees this, the more senseless it is to continue with generalized descriptions of supposedly specifically schizoid, schizophrenic, hysterical ‘mechanisms.’ There are forms of alienation that are relatively strange to statistically ‘normal’ forms of alienation. The ‘normally’ alienated person, by reason of the fact that he acts more or less like everyone else, is taken to be sane. Other forms of alienation that are out of step with the prevailing state of alienation are those that are labeled by the ‘formal’ majority as bad or mad.”
― R.D. Laing, The Politics of Experience/The Bird of Paradise.
“The condition of alienation, of being asleep, of being unconscious, of being out of one’s mind, is the condition of the normal man. Society highly values its normal man. It educates children to lose themselves and to become absurd, and thus to be normal. Normal men have killed perhaps 100,000,000 of their fellow normal men in the last fifty years.”
― R.D. Laing, The Politics of Experience/The Bird of Paradise

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