G: The sexual act is often difficult and not pleasing, especially for women, because of a difference in rhythms; the rhythm of a man is different than the rhythm of a woman. And if a man goes by his rhythm, the engine of a woman stays cold. It is very clear.
This causes the women not only to be closed, but also to be angry. But, with it, she doesn’t feel good blaming the man. 70 to 80% of woman are frustrated in bed. But women, because of the reason above, take it upon themselves. They are absolutely right, being angry, because men use their body, without including them in the act. This way of going on is a bit like masturbating with a woman.
But women do not have the courage to be sharp against the man who don’t include them in.
If there is something wrong between a woman and a man – first of all, they take it upon themselves. And they need not do that; they do not even need a justification to blame someone. It is enough that she does not feel good with it.
The man needs to have enough care to see that she is ok. But he mainly thinks about himself. This is the conflict of women about their lack of satisfaction from the speed in which their man is moving, during and towards, the sexual act. And instead of telling him, she ponders: “I don’t want to hurt him, because he will take it personally, he will think that I am not attracted to him.”
And then you end up having this headache, explaining that you are attracted to him but you are not yet ready. It could be so simple, if it would be understood that for the women it takes longer to be aroused than men.
It actually means that men need to work harder. And not coming as a consumer, just to have fun. Than it doesn’t work, it doesn’t light up. I think that most men in bed are infantile. They are not looking at it in a mature way.
A mature man would only be satisfied when the woman is satisfied. And he would be sensitive to her body.
It is not an easy thing. The greatest problem in sex is the communication problem, what I am talking about here is not a sexual problem. Most men and women are healthy sexually, but when they have sex they stop to communicate.
S: Why is that?
G: Because everyone has his own needs and people have got a lot of fantasies, and they are afraid to hurt the other person. They are afraid that if they will speak about what they think, it will open a “Pandora’s Box”, or it will stop the magic, it will stop the wow. but they don’t see that without speaking, they only have the animal instinct of the lower aspect.
Mainly, 10% of the sexual act is physical, and 90% psychological. And 90% of it is not taking part.
The higher aspect is communication, sensitivity, sharing.
You see, the higher aspect is the feminine aspect, the lower aspect is the masculine aspect. And as long as the man is dominant in sex – and mostly he is dominant – it becomes lower. The instinctive, biological aspect: doing it to get a relief; the mechanical aspect.
Soul and consciousness have nothing to do with sex.
What sex misses is not soul and consciousness, but simply human communication, to open up to each other. To be there with your being, and not to disappear.
The higher part is human communication: What do I see what is happening to me? And to share it with the other. But people disappear when they are having sex.
Basically a woman in this society does not have many rights for anything in sex. The man has the right. Women have no right. They are becoming objects. And you have got the feeling that you got no right to insist on your right, because you are being educated to just shut up and let the men do with you what they want.
You don’t have the courage, because society doesn’t allow you to. And In fact, I am not talking to you personally; I am talking to you simply as a woman. Women are being used and abused sexually. Women are very sexual beings, but they are not allowed to bring their full sexuality into the act, because men are afraid of women’s sexuality.
Part of the reason why men do not want to be aroused sexually is because they are afraid of the sexual desire of women. It is too strong for them, they are afraid to be swallowed.
S: How can a woman swallow a man?
G: A woman can’t swallow a man, but men are infantile in their approach to women. you can see the hollow of the woman. A woman is a hollow, a space, now he can either see the hollow as a swallowing hollow. Or as a hollow which gives life.
Now, the lower is the man, the less developed he is in his manhood, the more infantile he is – the more he will see the hollow as a swallowing hollow. And I think most men see it in that way. I think they do not understand female sexuality.
And they see it as something that if they let it be, it will swallow them, they are afraid to get lost in it, they are afraid to loose control.
Usually women are not allowed to know anything by themselves, all the knowing of women is going through what the men allows them. That is the control of men over women; you are restricted from discovering your own sexuality.
Men want your sexuality just to arouse them, so they will be excited and they can have sex. That is all. And they want to have sex to release and get rid of the load of their accumulating sexual energy. Too much of it, being stuck in the male system – makes them uncomfortable, so they want to get rid of it. So they try to get rid of their arousal with the first attractive woman they meet.
S: The problem is that with this act they also make the rules on sexuality on this planet.
G: They make the rules to feed their infantile state and women play by this rules.
What do you think about what I am saying?
You should feel angry.
S: … I feel frustrated too.
G: Yes, and you should be angry and frustrated. I don’t know to what extent, and to what depth, women talk between themselves about sex, and how much they lie to each other. But most women are not satisfied sexually.
Unless they have a male orientation towards sex. And the number of females which are like men in this, is not much, it is 10% 15%. But most women are helpless and lost about this. They become divorced from their own sexuality and they blame themselves for it.
S: A big confusion, that is what there is! But isn’t it the sexual energy that is supposed to transform and go up the spine and fertilize the consciousness?
G: Men and women identify with their sexuality as much as they identify with their emotions. A person needs to separate himself from his sex and from his emotions. To understand that it is simply an act that you should do, and then you can continue with your own life and not be addicted to it.
Society actually makes the sexual act to be the most important act. They give it so much importance; people live for sex; in that they don’t stop thinking about sex all day. So the thing is: sexual intercourse should be a way of communication between a man and woman and it should be a way of relief of energy and mutual enjoyment. And when you do it, and you manage not to identify with it, you can separate the higher aspect of sex from the lower aspect of sex. And then finer parts can go up the spine. But only if you don’t identify with it, then you do it in a communicative way. Than the higher aspect can indeed rise up and go to feed the consciousness body.
S: So that is not in the act itself right?
G: No! Not at all!
S: So there is a difference between sexual energy and what you do with it. And there is the act for relief and the higher part you can reach is human communication, and the lower part is the biological aspect, the relief.
G: If you don’t identify with it, and you keep it’s heat & volume on 30%, you don’t get addicted to it. Or too exited by it, then you do it as a communication and relief.
You can say that sex has got three aspects to it:
- The lower biological aspect,
- The human psychological communication and
- The transformation of the energy.
Now the transformational energy which goes to the consciousness could not rise up if the lower two aspects are not done fully without personal identification.
Sex should have 2/3 female aspect and 1/3 male aspect. If it is 2/3 female, it is soft and it doesn’t trap the higher aspects in it, because it is extending, it is allowing. The male aspect of sex is angry, aggressive, it is hot and the heat unifies all sexual energy (high and low) to one big lump, thus doesn’t allow the finer aspect to go up.
Scheme about sexual energy
|2/3 female||1/3 female||Higher aspect –inner process||Transformational, only if lower parts are being managed|
|1/3 female||Lower aspect –related to sexual act||Human communication (psychological)|
|1/3 male||Biological act for relief; mechanical|
S: The transformation of the energy you are talking about is separated from the act, but that is another process, right?
G: It happens by itself if everything is ok in the lower aspects. If the act is 2/3 cool and communicative – then the act itself takes care of the 2/3 of the lower aspects and the higher aspect is released in this way.
But the sexual act has got noting to do with the higher aspect.
Sexual energy as it is nowadays, is 2/3 human and psychological and 1/3 biological and mechanical.
S: And then the sexual energy in the full picture can also be transformed, to higher energy, the last 1/3.
G: The whole issue of the human factory is that it is a transformational factory, and in this factory we should separate the higher from the lower. When you take what happens to you personally – you make the higher and the lower – glued (and melted) to one unit. This happens when you identify and get involved (which heats everything). The unidentified view of what is happening to you allows the higher aspect to be separated from the lower.
G: This conversation contains information about sex, personal development and transformation of consciousness. It is a continuation of the last conversation. Last conversation, we spoke about the emotions, and now we are touching the sexual energy.
S: Yes and also about this part, the sexual energy, there exist a lot of misunderstanding and confusion.
G: 95% of what I am describing is in between all men and all women. So no one should take it personally at all.
This is the horror of the situation. People meet and they have interaction going on between them and they think that all of this is individual-psychological interaction. But the psychological is only 10% out of the whole, and, 90% is sociological. People are not being them; they are being invaded by social norms.
S: So there is a collective sexual problem and any individual woman should separate herself from it.
G: Absolutely, and this will enable her to get rid of so many personal problems and guilt feelings.
This is what I am writing in the book “Outsiders and rebels” (http://www.e-mago.co.il/Editor/chapters-903.htm; http://simania.co.il/bookdetails.php?item_id=85453)
Instead of the sensitive people going against themselves, they should take a stand against society, in themselves, because society is the great corrupter. And the first people that are being scarified are the best people, the most beautiful, sensitive people. Who then go against themselves.
S: Why is the part about sexual energy such a taboo?
G. There is a taboo, but it should not be, because sex is something so simple basically. When you look at animals, only we made it to be so complicated, so sacred, so full of guilt feelings. We made it to be the highest point of human existences: to have sex. And that is so stupid.
It is much easier. You see, there is so many walls and barriers around sex, that when you do get it, it seems to be the greatest gift.
But it shouldn’t be a great gift – I mean, it is nice, it is good, but we put around it so many adoration, like having good sex is one of the highest points of life. It is stupid. At the end, when you do not have your head explode in the sexual act, you think: ‘What am I missing?” And I think that even people who are sex maniacs are not experiencing it.
You see, this society has got a motive: to glorify sex high above its own reality. Because it gives people a reason to live. It is the highest stimulation. All the time people think: “Oh, I am going to have great sexual relations”. People are suffering and suffering, and they say to themselves: “Oh, I am going to reward myself by having great sex”, which eventually no one relay has. It is a big fantasy. What they do have is the self-conviction that now they are doing it.
S: So actually they are making it the biggest consumer market?
G: Absolutely! And it is a big fantasy.
There is a great sex-market. Sex is the greatest teaser, and it might sound very much like science-fiction what I am going to say: society wants people to be aroused sexually all the time, so they can manufacture more energy than they are able to use. This energy is actually the energy with which they go to work. There is a great abuse of the sexual energy, only a small amount is used for sexual intercourse. Most of it is being moved to other things. People do all kinds of things with sexual energy: People go to work with sexuality, they do politics with sexuality, they make dinner with sexuality, because it is so powerful – it leaks everywhere.
Everything here, this is what I wrote in “The Big Cosmic Essay” is in a big sexual loop. This is the planet of the sexual loop.
S: So you say that the sexual energy grew out of proportion and it is manifesting itself also in other domains, like work, etc.
G: It is what makes the world go round. They say it is money that makes the world go round, but in fact it is sex. Everything is moved by the power of sex.
S: At the same time, the weird thing is, that it is being kept a secret from many women! There is on one hand sex everywhere, but for me, as a young woman, it has been a hidden topic, because society has put many restrictions on it for me, like “no, you can not do that, or have this”.
G: You see, what happens is: a lot of sexual energy arises in a person, because there is a lot of provocation everywhere, in public, on the television, in movies, the way people dress… Sexual energy is in the air, everywhere, especially in hospitals, libraries, coffeehouses, the air is full of sex – but the ability, especially for a woman, to actually realize this sexual energy, is almost zero, and this is because of the restrictions. Restrictions which are mainly put on woman. So there is a lot of sexual energy being released all the time, but because of the restrictions it needs to be diverted to other areas. In fact, if people are going to use all the sexual energy that they are manufacturing, they would have to have sex from morning till evening non stop. And I tell you something: most people if they would have the choice, this is what they would do.
By the Chakra-system, the sexual energy belongs to the lowest part of the Human complex, but human society puts it on top, while at the same time it puts so many restrictions upon it.
And what does it mean, on top? Well, it does not mean that people are doing sex all the time. It means that people think about sex all the time. Sex is the greatest frustration of most people. And everyone thinks that he is fucked up sexually. Because he or she, does not fulfill their sexual desires.
There is a big social conspiracy on that. No-one, in person, initiated it, there is sort of a social conspiracy on sex. And the greatest victim of it are women.
S: Are men than the ones that benefit?
G: Well, not really. I can’t really say that men enjoy sex so much; men enjoy using the sexuality of women. They have an ego aspect on it. They feel powerful, domineering. Basically when men do sex it is to have a stronger ego. That is what they get out of it.
Men don’t enjoy that much out of sex; basically they do it to prove that they are men. And that they are strong and powerful.
S: So, who benefits from the social conspiracy on sex?
G: The social structure. All the big cities, factories, industry, all this is built with sexual energy. I advise you to read Michel Foucault’s The History of Sexuality. Because some of the ideas that I am discussing with you are elaborated by Michel Foucault, a French philosopher, in his books:
Michel Foucault- The History of Sexuality
- Vol I: The Will to Knowledge
- Vol II: The Use of Pleasure
- Vol III: The Care of the Self
Especially the part that society actually uses the sexual energy for its own development; it is like a dike that is built to hold a lot of water, and you divert the water to an area where you can get electricity out of it. That is exactly what they do with sexual energy. The constrictions are the dike, and this moves the sexual energy towards areas which suits the culture.
S: Ok, they use it as a source. I can see the image; it is like a collective motor in all the people separately.
G: That is right. Society is everyone and no-one. It is a faceless monster. We are giving up our individuality for the collective identity. We are working for society, no-one lives for the sake of his own potential. Our own lives are wasted for this big monster.
S: It sounds like an entity.
G: It is, and it’s got eyes and it’s got ears and it has got a brain; Different people act like different parts of this monster. And all together it took over everything. And people are thankful for this, because they don’t know what to do with their own individual life, so they are happy to get lost in this big monster.
That is why I am laughing when people say “psychology”. What psychology? There is no psychology. There is mainly sociology!
S: There would only be psychology if there would be individuality, if there would be a border: a separation from society.
G: That is right. From this conversation you might realize the dominance of society. Because society took your freedom, as a woman, and caused you to go against yourself, trying to find out what you did wrong.
While you did nothing wrong. You have been a victim.
Take your freedom back from them. You should steal it from the thief, the thief that took it from you.
S: Is this phenomenon of ‘society’ already existing like this for hundreds of years, or thousands of years?
G: I don’t know, but I do know that society gets stronger and stronger, more and more. You see: when a body has got power, it is never satisfied until it gets more and more and more. And the individual is getting less individual and more social marks. Empty from within, looking after the next social excitement. It was like this in Rome, but now it is more sophisticated. More devious, more total, now you don’t have society in this country separated from the other country. But now people on the whole planet are one big society; everything is connected: facebook, internet, television, the Big Brother. And inside there is no-one. All individuality has been taken. It is like The Matrix in a way. It is frightening. And what I am trying to do is exactly what happens to you now: to make a space, within this giant body that robs every one. To create space for individual people, which will create their own individual lives, within the space that we rob back from society.
Further reading on this issue: http://www.hermetic.com/bey/taz_cont.html
Edited and approved by Gabriel Raam. 8.5.2008