When you work on consciousness and you let your awareness grow with the experiences that life brings, the damage of falling down and losing your consciousness is a painful and dark experience. The damage of personal involvement is huge; the more space (thesis) you have gained in conscious times, the more space (antithesis) will be taken over by the downwards spiral of mulling, emotion or doubt – in personal involvement, once the clarity of consciousness is gone.
Personal involvement is like a habit, an emotion, a feeling, a pattern, or a reaction that is so strong that it actually takes over the self-management. It is when a part of your system rules your whole system. It is like a musician that takes over the position of the conductor, so the orchestra is no longer led by the qualified one, but only one player. It is like a person got hurt and because of his hurt, he sees everything through a veil of sadness.
Getting into personal involvement is a habit, and a habit is neither good nor bad – it is a loop. A recognized habit is like a closed circle of “knowing what will happen, without controlling it.” How many people do you know that can’t stop a personal involvement? How many of your friends are locked in a loop and tell about the same problem every week? If they want or not, they are subject to their needs, their feelings, or their customs.
But there are people that live beyond the loops of their personal involvement and there are people that manage to break through their addiction to it. How do they do that?
They sabotage their own routine of personal involvement. A routine cannot be a numb sleepy ritual if there is one part missing: you cannot smoke if you simply don’t have cigarettes. But what if the addiction to personal involvement is more abstract when it is something like “negative thoughts” when it takes place in the inner world? What do you do then?
You hunt it.
Like a warrior hunts his prey by studying its routine, you should study the routine of your personal involvement. And on the moment you have observed it and you know its routine, you wait for the personal involvement to show up and you attack it. You attack it before it controls you. Just like Anthony Hopkins said to Alec Baldwin in the movie “The Edge”, when they were a victim to a hungry bear: (Scared Alec) “What are we going to do?” (Determined Anthony) “We are going to kill the bear!” And in case you think you are not strong enough to kill a bear, Anthony had another statement that made him overcome his fear and change his state of mind. He said: “What one man can do another can do”, looking at a box of matches that showed a drawing of an Indian spearing a bear.
And stopping an emotional downward spiral, like mulling, spinning thoughts in your head that have their own life and their own opinion about you feels like killing a bear in the beginning.
And there are tools!
And remind yourself: What one man can do another can do!
The most effective tool that you can use on the way when you are hunting down your personal involvement is the positive spiral. The positive spiral is about what you are worth in the broadest sense of the word.
A positive spiral is like a thorough walk when it is snowing, it doesn’t feel good in the beginning because it is cold, slippery, you can’t see clearly, and you have to go against your own natural reaction. Only after walking for a while, your body becomes warm again and you get a grip on the ground and you see your path through the flakes.
And this is what you do when you activate a positive spiral. You talk to yourself: “Yes, I am good, I am excellent, and I know I can do it” (and since you didn’t kill anyone or are not a criminal, you can probably agree with yourself on that). And you imagine things that make you feel good. This can be anything: a big fire, dancing till you feel your body get light, this photo of yourself where you see that your eyes shine. Or go back to a successful experience and expand this experience by asking yourself questions like what happened before this success, why was it so good, and how can I describe the feeling that I had at that moment. It can be anything, as long as you are creating a positive counterweight to the negative aspects of the habit.
Or you ask someone who knows you well to do the following exercise: first you tell him what is good about him, and he does the same with you. And after that, you tell each other what is good about yourself and the other gives you feedback when you do so, and you receive your ideas confirmed, which will turn the tide of personal involvement.