From every commercial and in almost every friendly conversation – we see and hear that we can become anything and whoever we want to.
So, for us, life is a shopping mall, a supermarket, in which we shop who and how we want to be.
And on top of this we get these transmissions (from collective hidden sources) that everything is up to us.
And if we don’t get what the commercials and common talk promise us, it is because of us.
We all are convinced that what makes our life difficult, problematic, unsuccessful, or unsatisfying – are our weaknesses, our faults, our self-inflicted problems, our laziness, our lack of self-discipline, lack of willpower, etc.
So, we all want to (or need to) change.
To what extent are we living our life now with the inner conviction that we are on the road of improvement, and that things are getting better in us? To what extent does this conviction give us the power and stamina to go on?
And how would we feel if we realized that maybe we are not on the road of improvement? And that the way we are now is the way we will remain?
If we knew that in 20 years’ time we would remain with the same faults, the same weaknesses, the same self-inflicted problems – how would we feel about that? Would we be indifferent? Disappointed? Shocked?
If we came to a person in mid-life and suggested him to accept himself as he is – good and bad, weak and strong, success and failure – now, as it is, and it will never change – how would he feel about it? How disappointed from 1-10, how indifferent from 1-10, how shocked from 1-10?
To what extent could he go on living with that knowledge? And what would be his quality of life with this knowledge?
Now, what is the truth?
The truth is, that we are born fixed, there is no reason to think that our personality is not as fixed and wholesome as our body. All we can do with the body is to develop it, the same with the components of our personality and character, not change, because it is already formed, only develop.
But here is a catch: If you don’t accept yourself first exactly as you are, not only you cannot develop (upgrade your level), you cannot live a full satisfying life.
Living without self-acceptance is living as a being foreign to oneself, being divorced from oneself. Living only under the condition of possible change. And if this did not happen – We wouldn’t accept ourselves.
No. It should be the other way around. At first self-acceptance and only then we can have a life and possibly develop (upgrade our level) and turn from having an infantile life to a mature one.
Living under the condition of self-change some time in the future is like paying by delayed checks. One day we will have to face ourselves.
But self-acceptance is one of the most difficult things in the world, no one wants to do it:
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”― C.G. Jung
If you don’t accept yourself fully and with no conditions and expectations – you are not authentic, you are not you, you are not even someone else, you are a ghost, a wishing to be creature, no more..
You must accept yourself, as you are, in order to be.