“I Don’t Want to Get Hurt”

A known and good-looking Israeli actress was interviewed for a documentary on her life, called: “Aliza” (here is only the trailer).

In one of the scenes (in which she must be probably in her 40s) they came to talk about sex. And she said that she was not having sex. “For how long have you not been having sex“?, asked the interviewer. “For 9 years”, she answered. “And if you get attracted to a good-looking man, and you do want to have sex with him, what would you do“? she was asked, and her answer was: “I will stop myself”. “Why”? asked the interviewer. “I don’t want to get hurt”, was her answer. 

This is one of the most shaking and shocking texts that I ever had the chance to be exposed to.

To what extent is it true for other women? And for how many? Who continues to have sex and still feels as hurt as her?

To what extent are these words of the woman in the documentary, are the secret words of many women that don’t even dare to think those words for themselves, but deep inside, this text of hers is also their own text?

And if she is a mouth to many more women who are silent – maybe it is because men treat them during the intercourse as objects? Maybe they are not sensitive enough to them? Maybe the men are over dominant and not cooperative? Maybe there is no affinity, no personal consideration? No intimacy?

(Some researches indicate that younger women spend more time attending to men’s sexual needs than their own).

 And when a woman is out of the picture (not being related to) as a human being (but as a sexual object) – it hurts.

How many men have any idea at all that the avoidance of their partners of sex (if it exists) are for this reason? (It hurts, and not physically…). 

I searched the internet for this feeling that Aliza (the actress) was talking about:  Refusing to have sex because of being hurt – and there is no mention for this, only pain in the vagina during the sexual intercourse.

The bottom line?

(If what the actress said is indeed part of a greater phenomenon)

There is great injustice going on here, and as usual, women are the victims.

It is the main taboo for women to be critical about being hurt by having sex – out loud. (They should be sexually satisfied)

“No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility.”

– Simone de Beauvoir

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