On Estrangement And Dynamics

Links on estrangement: dictionaryquotes.

Definitions of Estrangement:
1. Estrangement is: to turn (a person) from an affectionate or friendly attitude to an indifferent, unfriendly, or hostile one; alienate the affections of.
2. Sense of isolation, powerlessness, and therefore frustration; a feeling of loss of control over one’s life; a sense of estrangement from society or even from oneself. As a concept it was developed by German philosophers G. W. F. Hegel and Karl Marx; the latter used it as a description and criticism of the condition that developed among workers in capitalist society.
The term has also been used by non-Marxist writers and sociologists (in particular Emile Durkheim in his work “Suicide”, 1897) to explain unrest in factories and to describe the sense of powerlessness felt by groups such as young people, black people, and women in Western industrial society.
3. Estrangement is like being divorced from yourself, like having no sense of yourself, when you are with someone, or others. Estrangement is an attitude or an atmosphere that could exist between people. The characteristics of it is being too correct, too formal, not spontaneous, not full of life, artificial, forcing oneself to speak and not knowing what to say.

(It could be said that there is a negative dynamic; this could be a different term to describe the atmosphere of Estrangement)
G: Now, in groups doing consciousness inner work, this is quiet a frequent phenomenon.  And why this is so? Well, this has to do with taking things personal, which means that people identify with their own personal pleasure or suffering. They are based in the lower self of themselves. They identify with the lower personal aspect. And when this state comes in contact with the presence of high consciousness, estrangement ensues.
The danger for Consciousness Way students is that they are in the presence of a higher consciousness, but did not grow above the level of identifying with their personal aspect. When students meet G. who represents and transmits higher consciousness, or a fellow student who represents the effort towards higher consciousness, and they are in identification with a personal aspect – they get into estrangement.
This is because high consciousness wipes out the lower self. And then the person feels estranged.
There are two centers of gravity:
1. Your emotions: the lower self is identifying with your emotions.
(If you come to consciousness meeting, based in your emotions – you feel estranged).
2. Your soul. The higher self, open to high consciousness.
(If you come to a consciousness meeting, based in your soul – then you do not get estranged).
In order for your soul to become the centre of gravity, your emotions need to be quiet, calmed down. You need not to identify with the positive and negative aspect of your emotions. If you manage to stay neutral with your emotions, and stay quiet and cool in, and with, your emotions – then your soul can meet high consciousness (in a consciousness teacher or in a fellow student of the conscious way) – and be able to withstand it’s power. You don’t get divorced from yourself, because your consciousness doesn’t cancel the soul. It only cancels emotions, because consciousness finds the heat of the emotions disturbing.  And emotions don’t like knowings,the soul loves knowings of the consciousness.
So the idea is: are you based in your higher self or in your lower self when you talk to me, or to fellow members of the Consciousness Way?
The more you are based in identifying with your personal aspect, the more estrangement you will feel when you talk to me, or to a fellow members of the Consciousness Way .
S: So when I am very formal – this is a sign that my gravity point is on the personal level, on the psychological level.
G: Yes, and I don’t want my students like that, I don’t want them to be stiff with me or with each other. You could be not stiff, and still be based in your emotions, the easiest way is to lower your standard. But In a presence of high consciousness – for example, a consciousness teacher –  you cannot lower your standard. So you get estranged.
There is no big deal to be free (and not stiff) and to be in a low state. It happens in every pub. But I ask you to be in a higher state and at the same time to be free and connected to yourself. And this is a challenge. Usually people are one of the two: either high and disconnected from themselves, or connected to themselves, but with low standards; no knowing and no consciousness. The challenge is: to be with high standard in the presence of high consciousness and not to be stiff, to but free and connected to yourself.
S: In order to be free I need to give up the control over my emotions?
G: Not control – but being free from identifying and getting personal.
When students talk high things and they are estranged to each other, it happens because their standards are low in the presence of high consciousness. They think the group is bad, but it is not the group which is bad, it is their identification with their lower aspects which is bad.
And you identify, because this is where you are in your own life; putting your own personal happiness in the centre of what is important to you, instead of being neutral of what is happening to you.
The more a student identifies with his personal aspect before he comes to a meeting, the more estranged he will feel in the meeting. The group makes things more powerful.
The group only magnifies the difficulty the students have with me – which is the estrangement. When students go out of a meeting and they start to talk nonsense, they feel good. The moment one student says to another, “Hey, we are in a Consciousness Way!” – there starts the estrangement.
The higher the standards of the member of the group towards the others are, the more estranged the rest of the group will be towards him – if they are based in their emotions, of course. People who reach the highest standard consciously, are the ones who raise the most estrangement among those who are based in their emotions.
S: Can you say that the distance, like a void, between the personal aspect and the consciousness, causes the estrangement?
G: Yes, when you are in consciousness and based in your lower self,  you are definitely thrown into a void and that is a terrible feeling. A person doesn’t feel himself.

Main points from the conversation:
– When a student speaks with G. personally – he becomes inspired about the consciousness level and he forgets about himself, and then he gets out of the estrangement. But when he is with other people, they remind him of himself, they act as a mirror. So he hates them for reminding him where he is stuck.
– The estranged group becomes a stopper for the Consciousness Way.
– Personal aspect is mirrored and multiplied by the group
– The other person is hell for you, when you are based in your personal aspect.
– The main issue: you only get something out of it when you are open and high, but people are or not open or not high.
– In the best case, students meet 2/3 consciousness 1/3 inner freedom
– Estrangement happens when there is 3/3 of consciousness, and no inner freedom (and this is what happens in-between students). 1/3 consciousness and 2/3 inner freedom is new, but that is the way and would be amazingly warm and a consciousness experience!
– To break out of the social mask and the psychological level, you need help from the other people in the Consciousness Way. Other people need to help you. In order to connect to other people in the Consciousness Way, you need to be free from yourself, but in order to be really free from yourself you need the help of other people.
– You need strength from the group to do the breakthrough. The group should be an engine that helps to go over the shock point, because it has the great power to:
1. be neutral toward your emotions.
2. break the psychological and personal aspect.
– When a person starts to do consciousness work, he has to choose between the ego and the consciousness.
–  Step one when students meet G:
1. Either they attack him, or
2. They shrink and give him space
The person needs to decide “who is taking the space”. When the student gives room to G, his ego disappears.
So when a student comes to G and talks to him, he is doubly cancelled. Because he gives up his space; he gives up his ego – he has no sense of Self.
Edited by Gabriel Raam 1/11/2008

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