I am amazed
of how come couples come together.
With it, It seems that about 90% of all people get together (married or become a couple) up till the age of 35 the most, mostly.
How is this miraculous and almost impossible mission being achieved?
For it is so difficult, and what is against this is so huge, that it is a wonderment.
For example, we know that singles are full of fears that prevents them from going to dates (especially blind dates), and that during the date itself they are blocked and inhibited. Often, one person is more interested in the match than the other. Also, people with burnout (from previous dates) were more likely to think the experience would be unpleasant, and therefore it becomes unsuccessful. Not to mention that the success rate of blind dates of 1 out of every 3 or 4. And yet, most people marry before they are 30.
The drive must be incredibly powerful, for the chances that during only few years one would find the only one, from no more than few dozens people they happened to come across his/her way – are scarce.
The possible answer to this question is made of two complementary features; one is social pressure, the other is genetic drive. But this are technical- intellectual, and are hardly to do with the being and real essence of things.
But the core truth in this is not what is there but what is missing… and I will explain:
The truth in this issue of mattings is that there is an incredible longing from our soul –for a soul mate, it is so powerful that it actually causing a soul pain, and the empty space of a loved one is responsible for a great emptiness in us and especially – Unbearable loneliness.
The pain is
so unbearable that it could not be tolerated, (we couldn’t possibly wait until
we are 35…). So being in emergency and with our back to the wall – we
comprise and fall in love with whoever is available and is the closest to who
we really want and need.
It is like in food; the bottom line here is that our choice of foods is – less because of its quality and attractiveness, and more because of the emergency of our hunger (when we are really hungry – we would eat almost anything…).
And so it is in choosing a partner; our loneliness and the cry of our soul – is what has the upper hand, and is responsible for the quick and extensive marriage, mainly, in the twenties.
We are used to think about love as being very selective (‘we don’t fall in love with everyone’…), but it is less selective or powerful – then our souls’ cry to unite with another soul.