G: …The work of the consciousness of the 5th way to conquer the inner space within you, so it wouldn’t be invaded by things that cause you panic or frustration or anger or things like that.
The first thing that you should look to is that you should stay calm and clear and clean and quiet inside. fot example, when you meet an aggresive person You should actually use it as an exercise to let her hurt you and then you should practice inside that the hurt that the hurt that she hurt you, doesn’t get inside.
That is the whole idea.
You should come to the higher level, you should look for people like that. So you can test your inner strength not to let your inner work crumble and to go to high anxiety when she attacks you.
The issue is not how to deal with her, but how to not let yourself be affected. Because attacks you will get all the time, because all the time you will meet people like that.
Plus I want to say something else: you need to understand that in your nature, whatever you will do, you are not aggressive, you are not cut, you are not made to deal with people like that. That is why she is in the business world and you are not.
So to begin with, you can learn techniques, you can learn things, but you are not made to survive dealing with such harsh people. If I take a rabbit an I put it in front of a wolf, the rabbit is not cut to deal with the wolf.
You are not supposed to be able to deal with her, because it is not your nature. Your nature is spiritual. And it is not to fuck with other people.
S: If I understand you correct, I should let her hurt me, but not let the hurt have an effect on my state?
G: well, on the first level I say: It is more important than blocking her, to make sure that her attack doesn’t affect you. You should try to get to a point that when you are attacked viciously nothing happens to you inside. That is one thing I am sayin
Second thing I am saying:
You shouldn’t go against yourself by not being able to fight her , because you are not made of aggressive material, thank God. And a fight between you and her is not an equal fight. It’s like a fight with a person that has a gun in his hand and another person that has a powerful word. Of course the one with the gun will win. You are higher than her, you are not made to deal with her.
And having said these two things I can try to listen to you and to give you advise how to minimize the damage of such harsh dealing with her.
First priority: don’t be affected
Second priority: accept yourself as you are and don’t go against yourself (by thinking: why can’t I deal with her). this is your beauty not to be able to deal with aggression, because you are spiritual.
Third way: Having understood the first two: now you can see what you can do: which is always very difficult.
S: Well, that is what I feel that I cannot fight with her. I can only watch what is happening.
G: That is right … and not getting involved, not taking it personally; not identifying with the frustration. But letting part of you being frustrated without you getting involved with the frustration. But looking at the frustration from the outside: try to understand what was happening there.
You see if your leg is getting bumped by a tree, you can be in the leg or you can be outside watching the leg.
G: what do you want to ask about this woman.
S: I notice that when I am in a conversation with her I remain calm and afterwards I get angry about what happens, so it affects me with a delay. And I notice that when I stay calm in a conversation, after having said something she starts lue-ing me to say more and I don’t or I say: what do you think about it.
And I see that she never gives a real answer or she laughs very loud.
And then I think: ‘where is this behavior coming from? Laughing loud, when there is nothing to laugh and there is nothing funny’ and it happens three or four times in important conversations. I cannot place the behavior and I don’t know how to react.
G: you are getting into it again.
S: Heey yes.
G: You need your observer to tell you when you are not just telling the story, but actually getting swept in a negative spiral emotionally. You should have the observer saying: sara be careful, you are not just telling it from the outside: you are getting into it again.
S: Yes I notice.
G: so I want your observer to be there. And you say two words and you see that you get into the spiral and you become the talk, when you talk about it. And you talk more and more, because you are getting exited.
What do you want to ask me, she is laughing, yes…
S: the question is ‘how to react to someone with unexpected behavior’.
G: two things: You forgot the first question, and I will go to the first question, you forgot it, because you became personally involved.
The first question was: how come you stay calm when you talk to her and then lateron it gets you, right?
G: so that is the first question, okey?
S: yes, that is right.
G: second question is, when she is laughing: what to do.
Now never ever there is a question of what to do. How is never a question.
You only ask how, if you cant cope with ‘what’. And you should be able to cope with what. And to understand the ‘what’. The reason why you are hurt, the reason why it alarms you. If you understand why her laughter alarms you, you don’t have to deal with it, because you are outside of the power that it has upon you.
When you get the crack of the reason you are free of the dealing with the ‘how’.
Because the reason, meeting the real reason, frees you from being subject to it.
Are you with me?
S: I understand that seeing the real reason behind, the ‘chore’ in a way, of what is happening, then there is not a ‘how’ necessary anymore in the way of reacting.
G: You are released from psychological level to the conscious level.
The moment you press the button of what is the reason, you transfer to the level of consciousness. And it wont hurt you anymore, because you don’t take it in the psychological level.
What about this laughter:
This laughter is mean, it is vicious. It is cruel. She is actually showing you that she is making fun of you. Now you need to understand another thing. When people treat you in a certain way, it is not because the will treat this way only to S, because she is S. She treats everyone on this way, because it is a weapon which works.
When people get this loud laughter, all their self-confidence crumbles and they give up. She is using it as a weapon. Because you are sensitive and intelligent, you feel that this vicious laughter and you get upset because of the cruelty and you get hurt, because it gets in and it melts your self-confidence.
What you should do: is get out of it and look to it from the outside. Become the observer: tell yourself what she is doing. Understand what she is doing. And try to block it getting it into your emotions by doing the defense mechanism I taught you: build the wall; throwing it behind your back, pushing it down and if this is not successful you and it is getting up to your head: do a spiral thinking of consciousness and the 5th way.
That is an answer to the second question, to give an answer to your first question: how come it gets you later.
Well I don’t think it gets you later, I think it gets you there and then. While you are telling yourself that you are calm, it actually gets in. and instead of staying calm you should say to yourself: there is no point to be calm, there is a point to fight with everything I have: you go to war. And you stand there blocking it. Now if you stay calm: you are lying to yourself you saying to yourself: ‘ahh, I am calm, it is not affecting me’ and when you are saying that, it gets an easy way in. because you are not blocking it.
Never underestimate the enemy: the personal involvement. The biggest danger of a personal involvement is saying: ah, it is nothing…
S: So while thinking that I am calm and that it doesn’t effect me, I am actually making my defense mechanism low, and then it enters, I let it in.
G: Absolutely. And when you see something like that coming: don’t stay calm, stay quiet inside of course ! but do everything you can to block it as soon as possible.
S: I can imagine that it is mostly after a conversation.
S: when I am talking when I am talking with a woman of her caliber, that after the conversation I start the anti-spiral… but then it is already to late… isn’t it?
G: Yes when you are in the spiral, it is already too late.
The best thing is to say: I am going to meat this woman and I know she is aggressive.
Before you meet her in the projection, the Architect that you make towards the meeting with her, already you put a wall in between you and her. To begin with!
S: G, about this architect, I hear also GS talking about it. The Architect is that I go in my mind to the situation and I think: what do I want from it and what will the meeting be like, am I correct?
G: yes more or less, asking yourself what you want from it, but you are not trying to shape what will happen. You are not getting involved in it, in trying to be in the situation that you want to happen.
You are staying on the outside as a mutual vector. And you just pass in front of your mind all the scripts that might happen. So when it is actually happening out of the script you have, you are ready, you already have the data inside you that confronts or deals with what is happening. And you are free to observe to what is happening with a certain intelligence about what is happening.
S: because in advance I have already built scenario’s? and on the situation itself I see which situation is taking place.
G: absolutely, and you are free and you can act spontaneously.
And if you don’t think of the scenario, you cant be spontaneous, because you don’t know how to react, but you cant know how to react, because it is too late, and when it happens you are helpless.
If you have a script you are free to improvise within the script. But if you don’t have a script you cant improvise, and you need to built a script on the spot. Ans you loose here in the improvisation and you loose there in the script.
So every free time you have: when you walk, when you are in the toilet, you just say: what will happen if… and deal mostly with bad situations. Because if a good situation happens it doesn’t need to be prepared for it, you need to be prepared if the worst happens. And all the time you should be ready for bad scripts. And when it happens, you should say to yourself: oh I know. I am waiting for it. And you are not surprised, because you thought about it in advance. Now most people don’t want to think about it in advance, because they get personally involved to think about it.
They say to themselves: ‘If I think about it, that is what will happen.’ It is stupid. You cant influence what will happen by thinking about. But you can be prepared!
And you see, if you think about bad things, the bad energy can be used by you wherever you want to take it. You are not under it. But if you don’t think about bad things, you are pushing it outside of your consciousness. And it is getting powerfull outside.
Ill give you another good example, if you think about bad things which happen, it is a blocking vaccination / inoculation.
Like anti biotic. You take a little bit, a weaken of what can happen and you let it into your system. Meet the disaster part of it is already in you and it cant harm you.
S: I understand, it is kind of a program that is there in case something happens, I will know how to react, because I have already build this reaction in my mind. So on the moment itself I will still have the freedom how to take it out of myself or how to deal with myself.
G: this is the architect. Each time, when you have the free time you should pass by all the scripts possible, what will happen if this would happen to a dear person, what would happen if I have this conflict, what will happen if I have an accident, what will happen if I come to work and the door is not open. You owe it to yourself to be responsible to yourself to be prepared to anything.
Another good thing about the architect: if you put your mind, before something happens, you don’t get emotional, because thinking about it, is mutualising the identification with the emotional aspect.
If you have a fault in advance before something emotional happens than the fault takes out the emotion. And it actually separates you of being over involved emotionally. Think that you ll have a conflict with someone, and you think about the conflict, so when the conflict happens, your thought was there before the conflict.
And it acts as a barrier, between you and identification with what happened.
G: Do you feel any change in your emotional state and conscious level after conversation and when we started to speak?
S: When we started I was exited, then I became even more exited, and now I feel less exited, but I feel more energy, I feel really motivated.
G: you feel less exited in the emotional level and you are more inspired in the consciousness level.
S: that is very true.
G: tell me, do you…